Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Surreality

Today was a mommy and son day. I just got home from Center City Philadelphia with my little/big buddy. It is about a ten mile trip from our house to the heart of brotherly love town, when we drive straight down Broad Street. I am glad that we made it home in one piece. My son drove, both ways. It was the first time that I let him drive into the city, since he got his permit.

This morning was a little disappointing, as I took him for his driver's license test, which he failed for palming the wheel during parallel parking. He’ll try again in seven days. I’m a little relieved that my baby won’t have the freedom to drive without me in the car beside him--yet. I’m not sure I’m ready for all of the adventures he may decide to take with his friends without my knowledge. He is a good driver, but I explained that there are a whole lot of reckless ones to watch out for.

The driver’s test guy was handsome. He was obvious about finding me attractive—I wasn’t. He had a surprised look on his face when I acknowledged that I was the “parent”. I get a lot of curious looks in that regard. I apparently don’t look quite old enough to be the mother of a child who happens to be 6’ 3” and 213 pounds. I am glad about that, but I don’t like that my son grew for sixteen years in what seemed like the blink of an eye.

When I became a young mother, I did the math in my head…when I am 33, my son will be old enough to drive—and if he becomes a parent when he is 17, as I did, then I will be an absurdly young grandmother! I have encouraged him to wait until he has graduated from college, has a well-established career and is ready to settle down and have a family. I felt like this day would never get here and I can’t even imagine becoming a g-mom.

I want him to have the whole college experience, and have time to travel and get to know himself and the world before he dedicates his life to loving and rearing little reproductions. I wound up going to a community college for nursing instead of to a campus apartment with my best friends.

As we circled around the city, we discussed his college choices and majors. He is currently considering computers, teaching or culinary school, although he isn’t close to making a decision. I told him to do whatever he feels most passionate about and not to pick something just because a friend is doing it. He is currently on the honor roll for the first time since 6th grade, so I am super proud of him. He is trying his best to make his records look good for colleges this year, since he is a junior.

Life seems so surreal sometimes, like it did while riding down busy city streets dodging pedestrians, cabs, buses and wild drivers. I laid a comforting hand on my good-looking son’s manly thigh. I have loved being his mom every single minute since the day he was born. I feel the same way about my gorgeous ten-year-old daughter.

8 comments:

Crazy Eddie said...

Wow, you sound like a great Mom. Your son is lucky to have such a caring Mom. A Mother/son relationship shapes his future with females in general...

I'm sure he'll grow up quite balanced and respectful...

Bravo

spencer said...

God this makes me feel old at 38. Of course I don't have kids - and if I do, I'll be dealing with teenagers in my sixties.

I have a close friend whose wife had two children by the time she was 20 - one in high school, and a marriage that didn't last. One day we were out drinking and she said that she loved doing this because it's an experience she never had a chance to have. When all her friends were being silly college students, she was being a mom.

I remember telling my nephew when he took a year out of college why not. Once you get a job, get married, have kids, everything seems to run on rails.

Jessica said...

Thanks, Eddie.

Spencer, Yes, I grew up very fast due to becoming a mom so young. I feel old for my age sometimes, too. Most of my friends from high school have babies and young children now.
The great thing about being such a young mom was that I had no problems during my pregnancies and had two perfectly healthy, beautiful babies. I worked out until I was nine months along, even did step class--and I lost all of the baby weight and then some afterwards. Plus I had lots of energy to chase them around.
On the rare occasion that I go out with girlfriends, I tend to get a little nuts.
If you still want to have children, go for it. It's wonderful being a parent!

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