Friday, September 29, 2006
Mike and Kathy were the lively and friendly neighbors who lived on the west side of our tall and skinny old farmhouse. The ones on the east side of our property were deceased, as we lived next to a small church & cemetery, and therefore weren’t part of our evening chats.
Our neighbor’s young blonde daughter shared the same patch of big backyard as our young blonde son, so the lumpy green carpet was a place to hang out and play in the evenings after dinner and on the weekends.
Mike arrived home from work early every evening. He drove a somewhat battered blue, Ford pick-up truck. Its ruggedness matched his. His muscular physique and hardened hands told of his long and laborious days as a mason. His handsome face, warm eyes and extraordinarily loud metal music tickled me with electricity. He was ten years older than me, but didn’t look it. I was attracted to him – and he was attracted to me. However, I tried very hard not let it show while in his presence. He was vocal on several occasions about his interest in me.
One Saturday afternoon in early summer, he pulled noisily into his driveway. I observed his arrival, while waiting on my front lawn for a girlfriend to pick me up to go to the local swimming pool. I was wearing a stunning red swim suit. It made me feel sexy and shy.
Mike got out of his truck and began crossing the lawn toward me. I noticed that his white dress shirt was halfway unbuttoned down his tanned, blonde chest. He smelled like man – a sexy, sweaty man with alcohol on his breath. He stumbled over his own feet as he approached me, but it didn’t seem to faze him. He kept walking toward me. We stood breathing a foot apart for what felt like several minutes. He explained his dressy attire, as our eyes remained locked. I don’t remember if I replied. I just remember feeling magnetized.
There were other times I walked away from the fact that I was drawn to him. He would make comments about my appearance when we crossed paths, even at our shared burn pit. Burning yard waste was even appealing in his presence. He told me I was beautiful whenever I was near him. His eyes made me feel powerfully feminine.
He often stopped by our house to offer us some of his freshly processed kills. Mike was a hunter. My husband and son appreciated his sausages and jerky. I refrained from eating it because it reeked of garlic and I wasn’t fond of the idea of eating deer.
Handsome Mike hunted with my handsome husband on a few occasions. They were buddies. They both worked in construction, loved fishing, guns, archery and the thrill of a fresh kill. Mike would knock on our door to show off a carcass whenever he scored some local game.
One warm and dark evening, Mike knocked on our door to warn us not to come outside. He told us that he was going to put down his dog, Max. The hunting dog bit his elderly neighbor’s rear end, while she was trying to give the him a bowl of water. Her husband came to our house to share the ugly photos of her bruised and bitten booty. Mike felt obligated to shoot the Springer Spaniel and bury him behind our properties, which made me very sad.
One spring afternoon, I banged on Mike’s door in a panic, after my six-year-old son wiped out on his new bike. He skidded on the rock hill that snaked through the farm behind our houses. My little boy got road rash from head to toe. Mike watched my crawling daughter, while I cleaned my son’s scrapes. He sat on the toilet in my bathroom and gazed at me, while I put ointment and band aids all over my brave son. After my son left, we were alone in my tiny bathroom. I found it hard to breathe. I wanted to straddle his lap and sit glued against him until we melted into each other, but I walked out of the room and thanked him for his help.
Mike often joined my son and me in our yard whenever we played soccer or wiffleball. He practiced shooting arrows at archery targets with my son and husband. One fall evening, he hit golf balls deep into the corn field behind our houses with my son. His shed door was open, as I followed them passed. We paused briefly at the doorway and silently considered the intimacy and privacy of the small empty shed. However, we chose not to give into temptation. We were never unfaithful to our spouses even though our senses were gripped by an almost desperate, natural lust.
He kissed me goodnight one cool evening when we were going inside from his daughter’s backyard birthday party. The taste of his lips lingered on mine as I walked away from him. I also kept thinking about how his hands felt like sandpaper.
I never offered him a reciprocal compliment, although I wish that I had. It may have cooled us down if I had been honest, too. However, I wasn’t sure enough to give it a try. I would usually just blush when he said sexy things and then walk quickly away from him.
His cute wife was a nice lady. She was a smart, down-to-earth and petite brunette. I sensed that being married to Mike was a challenge. He tended to occasionally drink too much and say inappropriate things. Neither of us ever shared our marital woes, although we lived close enough to each other to have an understanding without verbalizing our problems.
On the hot, late summer day when we moved away, we didn’t expect to see our neighbors. However, Mike had come home early. He explained that he had gotten dizzy and felt like he was having a heart attack from the heat at work. He seemed like he had been drinking. We needed to give our house a final cleaning prior to settlement. We borrowed their vacuum. Kathy told me that my yellow sundress was pretty. I smiled and thanked her.
They both came outside to share a final conversation. We stood in our backyard beside a cherry tree. Mike asked me to lie on the grass and uncross my legs, followed by three other surprising statements. Our spouses were standing beside us. None of us acknowledged what he had just said.
Upon leaving my very first house for the final time that day, I knew that I wouldn’t miss it, but I knew that I would miss Mike. It was probably a good thing that we made the move. I’m not sure how much longer my willpower would have won.
My husband and I drove by our old house about four months ago to see if the new owners had made any improvements. We also planned to knock on Mike and Kathy’s door to say hello and catch up. We were in the area to go fishing at a nearby reservoir, which is full of bass, catfish and crappies. We hoped that they would join us. However, when we arrived we noticed that there was a For Sale sign in front of their house. I tried to mask my disappointment, although my husband had been aware of our mutual crush. He was pretty cool about it.
My husband called me from his jobsite today to deliver news, which immediately stole my breath and made me nauseous. He said, “The reason no one was home at the R***’s house is because Mike is dead.” I whispered, “What?” He replied, “Yeah, I’m working with some guys at the site here who are from our old neighborhood. We got to talking about the area and they knew it. They even knew the old one roomed school house where the R***’s lived. One of the guys grew up with Mike and the other one used to work with him. They said that Mike shot himself after a standoff with the cops. There were helicopters and everything. Mike fired two warning shots and then turned the gun on himself.
He called Kathy and told her that he was going to do it. She called the cops and they arrived with an ambulance. Kathy had recently left Mike and got custody of their two children. She got half of the house, so they had to sell it. I guess that’s why he did it.”
I can’t even explain how saddened I feel, especially for his children and family.
I even feel sorry for myself, since I will never get to see him again, which is silly since we moved away several years ago.
I told my son about it when he came home from school this afternoon. He said, “I really liked that guy. He did a lot of fun stuff with me when I was little.” I said, “Yeah buddy, it is really sad that he is gone.”
*This photo of me was taken two days before we moved away.
I wish that I had a photo of Mike.
Thank you for taking the time to find this obituary in your special secret midnight reporter's database, as you know I googled and came up with nothing. You're a really cool guy!
This information confirmed what I really didn't want to believe. However, I felt like I needed to read it.
Michael ****, 43, died February 16, 2006 in his home. He was a mason for the past 25 years. He attended Lutheran church. He was a member of a sportmens association, fire company and gun club. He was an avid hunter and fisherman.
*Update 10/3/06 - I was so floored by this tragedy that I let my feelings pour out without considering accuracy. I shared the story as it was told to me. I have learned that it was somewhat inaccurate.
Mike passed away on Feb 16th at 7:30 am. He died from a single gun shot wound to the head. The day that Mike died, the sheriff showed up to arrest Mike for a DUI. Mike had failed to show up to court for this offense. On the day he died, Mike fired exactly one shot, the shot that took his life. Mike never fired warning shots nor fired at the police. The Chief of Police quoted this in the local paper.
I realize that no one is responsible for Mike's death but Mike.
I also know that you cannot love someone enough to change them.
2) We Live – Superchick
3) Feeling Groovy – Simon and Garfunkle
4) I Got You (I Feel Good) – James Brown
5) Here Comes The Sun – The Beatles
6) Peaceful Easy Feeling – Eagles
7) Good Day Sunshine – Beatles
8) Sing A Song – Earth, Wind and Fire
9) It's A Miracle – Barry Manilow
10) I Feel Pretty – Maria (West Side Story)
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Kitty was stuck in a tree
She said help me
Daddy came by and sang a lullaby
Kitty came down and gave him a crown
And they all lived happily after
…after my husband went outside to rescue our kitten from a tall lilac tree in our backyard. (The kitty sneaks out of the door sometimes when we take our puppy outside. This was the third time in as many days that he had to climb the same tree.) My daughter was happily hugging Dahlia when she suddenly paused and exclaimed, “Mom, she’s puzzing!” I giggled and said, “Don’t you mean purring?” She said, “No, she’s puzzing, listen.” She held the cat up next to my ear. Her fur tickled. I said, "Well, I guess it sounds a little like puzz puzz." Next, she walked over to her brother and put her up to his ear. He said, “Yeah, she’s purring and next time road meat gets stuck up in that tree we’re leaving her there overnight until she ends up like Mr. Bigglesworth.”
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
My poodle barks in the direction of their hog haven each time that I let her run around the yard. My nine pound puppy is under the mistaken impression that she is intimidating. I am beginning to worry about her getting bitten, although they seem pretty harmless.
I decided to read a little about groundhogs since I don’t know anything about them. I’ll have to share a few Groundhog 101 facts with my kids at the dinner table this evening.
Your Score is: 18
12-21 points - Nobody's Victim
You’re neither foolhardy nor fearful – just aware that, wonderful as the world is, it can also be dangerous. You’ve learned to follow your instincts: when someone or something seems wrong, you don’t ignore that inner alarm, you take the appropriate steps to protect yourself. Part of this could be the result of what you or your friends have experience – often smart crime-fighters have been victimised themselves. So you’d rule out doing stupid things right away – like going to a deserted ATM late at night, or leaving your door or window unlocked. But an even larger part of your savvy stems from your overall sense of confidence. A smart woman tends to feel in control of her life – she’s trusting, but she also trusts her judgement when her instincts shout trouble.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
I had him return the phone -- and handed over mine. He logged in what seemed like hundreds of phone numbers and is already receiving regular calls and two-ways. His handsome low voice is now on my voicemail – and I have yet to contact people to let them know that the number is no longer mine.
I need to get to the Nextel store to buy a new phone and add one to our plan. I didn’t use my phone that often, but I miss it when it’s not in my handbag. I hope that Nextel has new, more feminine looking phones.
I felt somewhat comforted by having a phone, while walking in the park or running errands. My two year old Volvo has been known to develop wacky electrical problems, which cut off my power locks, ignition, windows and moon roof. Sometimes the windshield wipers get stuck on and flap like crazy when it’s not raining. Fortunately I have tinted windows, but it’s still embarrassing!
I don’t think I’ll get another Volvo when my lease is up next summer. I’d like to get a cute hybrid, possibly a Prius. I will research other hybrids before we make a decision.
My husband is thinking about getting me a Chrysler 300, but I’d probably have trouble parking it. I think the new Jettas are super cute. My last car was a little green Jetta. It was easy to park and I never had a problem with it during our four year relationship.
I’ve got almost a year to think about a new car, but I’d like to buy a new phone this week. Time to work out and then go shopping!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Hey, I know you haven't posted anything recently about your complications after oral surgery, but I read that blog while researching the complications my brother is having due to his oral surgery. He is on his third set of antibiotics in less than a month and a half and is sick in between the oral infections. Our oral surgeon wasn't much help, just like yours wasn't. We have a doctor's appointment scheduled in October to maybe check into immune problems, as that is the only thing the oral surgeon could suggest. Has yours gotten any better or has it gotten worse? Please let me know what you have been doing to deal with the problem.
Sorry to hear about your brother’s health issues. I cannot offer you advice on the matter, as my own oral health issues have not been resolved.
My original oral surgeon told me that my next/last option would be to have an MRI, after I finally broke down in tears at his office. After he told me that I looked good, I explained that I was feeling very ill. He took my temperature. I had a fever. He suggested that I was possibly having pain due to nerve damage. I haven’t gotten the MRI yet, since my regular physician said she cannot ask my insurance to pay for it given that my oral surgeon told me that my pain is related to nerve damage. I had a fever of 100.4 at her office.
I got a second opinion from the head oral surgeon in my area, who told me the same thing or suggested that I was having ghost pain, which is absurd. However, I still have swollen lymph nodes on the left side of my neck under the extraction site. I also had a fever at his office.
After these visits, I was off of antibiotics for about six weeks, during which time my fever remained in the low-mid range and my jaw, throat and neck became more and more painful. I had leftover antibiotics in my drawer, which I was avoiding due to my previous problems with antibiotic induced colitis. However, I got desperate enough to take it when the pain became so acute that I could not sleep on the left side of my face.
I took two courses of doxycyline as prescribed by a periodontist who told me that it would not cure my infection, but rather suppress the toxins which the bacteria produce, until I get appropriate treatment from an oral surgeon. During those two weeks, my symptoms improved a great deal after 3-4 days on the medicine. It was a huge relief and I was able to function almost normally.
After discontinuing them, the pain began coming back first in my jaw and then in my neck and throat. I began taking a leftover bottle of clydamycin, which were the offenders that gave me colitis, but relief from the jaw pain and other symptoms.
I was able to function almost normally for the week I was on that medication, too. However, I developed mild colitis symptoms at the end of the course of medication, which resolved after being off of it for a week. However, my deep jaw pain under and behind my extraction site came back the same week.
I also had a bottle of Avelox in my drawer as prescribed by my ear, nose and throat doctor, which I was putting off taking due to some of the scary side effects. However, I have been taking one pill per day as prescribed. I still have mild jaw pain and sore lymph nodes, but my throat has stopped screaming and the ache in my jaw has dulled. The headaches that I was getting on the rear left side of my skull have also resolved.
I am frightened about finishing the medication due to the fact that I think that my symptoms will return and worsen as they have each time before.
I have an appointment with a third oral surgeon late next week. I am hoping that this doctor will be able to help find the source of my problem and help me resolve it.
I believe that I should have been given IV antibiotics to eradicate this problem. I think there is a pocket of infection deep in my gums and jaw that has not been visible on X-rays or CT scan.
I am also concerned that the infection may have made its way into my jaw bone, in which case I might need to have my bone scraped.
I had a battery of blood tests which were all within normal limits. I do not have a problem with my immune system or my blood cell counts would be abnormal. I was tested for everything!
I heal rapidly from colds or injuries, etc. I rarely become ill and have never had other health problems. I believe that due to the fact that I waited 3-4 years to have my wisdom tooth extracted after I began getting pericorinitis, I gave the infection too much time to spread to deeper tissues and/or the bone.
I have read that osteomyelitis can go undetected for a number of years, all the while causing damage your jaw and adjacent teeth and possibly spread to your heart and/or bloodstream.
I am hoping that I don’t wind up with a high fever and get very ill before my doctors will intervene. I am being treated like a hypochondriac and keep being told that I do not have an infection.
If my symptoms were due to nerve damage, I would not start having fevers when I discontinue antibiotics. My lymph nodes would not become more and more swollen and painful -- and I wouldn’t be suffering with headaches and sore throats. My lymph nodes become less swollen and painful while on antibiotics and my fever resolves. There is also less fluid crackling sound when I bite down on the left side during antibiotics, but it returns and becomes louder after I discontinue them. My jaw pain also becomes a constant throbbing, aching and stinging, which starts to spread into my throat starting on the left and then all over. My tonsils also become more red and swollen and develop white patches.
I have an uncle who was recently hospitalized a few months after having oral surgery. He had problems with prostate infections afterwards. He also developed a very high fever and went to the emergency room. It was discovered that the infection in his mouth damaged his heart and he will need surgery to repair one of his valves. He was put on IV antibiotics. I hope that he will be okay!
I also hope that my issue does not become life threatening! After finishing this medication, I will have no more antibiotics left in my drawer. I will likely have to request/beg for an MRI. However, I’m still hopeful that after finishing this expensive oral antibiotic, I will be well.
My sister’s wedding is in a couple of weeks. I am going to be her matron of honor. My little girl is going to be a junior bride’s maid. I want to be well, so we can enjoy her special day.
I want to be well so I can be supermommy!
Anonymous, I sincerely hope that your brother gets well soon!
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Top 5 Songs to "Get You in the Mood"
2) Black Cherry - Goldfrapp
3) Come Here Boy – Imogen Heap
4) Fever – Opie Bellas
5) Feelin Love – Paula Cole
We discussed our favorite funny scenes over breakfast this morning. My son liked the fat/wee man bungee jump and the beer bong/plunger ass. My husband liked the wall and door punching bag pranks. Exposed old man balls got the best laugh out of me.
The four grossest scenes involved piercing a large fishhook through a human cheek and using him as shark bait, a bloody snake bite ball pit, drinking freshly jacked horse semen and a pubic hair beard. I could describe about forty or fifty more scenarios, but I recommend that you see them for yourself.
The cast members are truly a bunch of crazy jackasses.
Friday, September 22, 2006
2) Tent In Your Pants – Peaches
3) Maneater – Nelly Furtado
4) But It’s Better if You Do – Panic at the Disco
5) If We Kissed – Fiona Apple
6) Ring The Alarm – Beyonce
7) Hot Sexy Punkie – Sean Paul
8) If You Think I’m Sexy – Rod Stewart
9) You’re So Damn Hot – OK Go
10) Drop It Like It’s Hot – Snoop Dog & Pharrell
Thursday, September 21, 2006
What are you having for lunch?
Trash talking isn’t constructive, but it can be amusing -- and it gets a whole lot of attention.
CENTRISTS espouse a "middle ground" regarding government
control of the economy and personal behavior. Depending on
the issue, they sometimes favor government intervention
and sometimes support individual freedom of choice.
Centrists pride themselves on keeping an open mind,
tend to oppose "political extremes," and emphasize what
they describe as "practical" solutions to problems.
The RED DOT on the Chart shows where you fit on the political map.
Your PERSONAL issues Score is 60%. Your ECONOMIC issues Score is 40%.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Favorite Food: Warm Apple Crisp a La Mode
Favorite Month: June or October
Favorite Song: Goldfrapp - Ooh La La
Favorite Movie: The Muppet Movie
Favorite Sport: Baseball
Favorite Season: Summer
Favorite Day of the week: Saturday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Coffee
Favorite Time of Day: Morning
Current Mood: Content
Current Taste: Hot, strong, sweet & creamy coffee
Current Clothes: Coral summer nightie
Current Desktop: A recent photo of my beautiful and well-dressed sister and her fiancé from their member/guest dinner
Current Toenail Color: Razzberry
Current Time: 8:25 AM
Current Surroundings: My sunny bedroom
Current Thoughts: I need to shower and go to the park for a long walk
First Best Friend: Kate Walsh
First Kiss: Brook Moyer
First Screen Name: Jessica1028
First Pet: Levi, a small white pekapoo
First Piercing: Earlobes, forth grade (only piercing)
First Crush: Brook Moyer, the baddest boy in first grade.
First CD: Don’t remember
Last Cigarette: I quit smoking at 21, after smoking since I was 15.
Last Drink: Three days ago, coconut Caribbean rub w/slice and lots of ice.
Last Car Ride: Last night, I went to pick up my son after he helped his friend set up at church.
Last Kiss: I kissed both of my kids on their sweet cheeks before they left for school this morning.
Last Movie Seen: Hollywoodland
Last Phone Call: My dad
Last CD Played: I rarely play CDs. I use my MP3 player or computer.
6 HAVE YOU EVERS
Have You Ever Dated One of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends: Yes
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Unticketed speeding has been the extent of my unlawfulness.
Have You Ever Been Arrested: No
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: Yes
Have You Ever Been on TV: Only in private home videos with my family and friends or in naughty ones with my husband.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Yes
Thing You're Wearing: Pretty peach, cotton nightie
Thing You've Done Today: Handed out lunch money and helped my daughter get ready for school.
Thing You Can Hear Right Now: Diane Sawyer interviewing Joy Behar
Thing You Can't Live Without: My laptop
Thing You Do When You're Bored: Blog
4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY
1. My house….
I’ll be heading out shortly.
3 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO
1. My husband
2. My sister
3. My kids
1. Black or White: White
2. Hot or Cold: Hot
1 THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Raise happy and healthy children
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Your Hotlanta Kink Test score was 528!
Here is the chart so that you can see how you are rated:
100 or less You need to lighten up and live a little!
101 to 200 You have an average sex life in need of kink.
201 to 300 You have sweet hints of a kinky nature.
301 to 400 You have kinky playful tendencies.
401 to 500 You are definitely a kinky player.
501 to 600 You are kinkier than most!
601 to 700 You are a major league kinkster!
701 to 800 You live and breath kinky!!
801 to 900 Wow! You're too kinky for most!!!
901 or more SUPER FREAK ALERT! You da BOMB!
The maximum score for this test is 1000.
If you're looking for fun loving and interesting people who
score well on tests like this, join us at Club Hotlanta
Kink is a term used to refer to unconventional sexual practices such as bondage, domination and submission, and sadomasochism (known collectively as BDSM), and sexual fetishism.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Yoga is different than most other forms of exercise in that you are relaxing and breathing deeply and evenly at the same time as strengthening and lengthening your muscles. It feels really good.
After I arrived home from my three mile walk in the park this afternoon, I did a simple yoga for meditation DVD, which really helped me relax. I haven’t spent much time doing meditation other than during the last few minutes of yoga class, which is usually spent on conscious relaxation techniques. However, I tried various meditation poses today using different mudras, which were refreshing, so I’ve decided to try and spend more time learning how to meditate. I love finding new ways to help the body/mind strengthen and unwind.
Your movie star name: Peach Ice Cream Raymond
Your fashion designer name is Jessica Stockholm
Your socialite name is Jessi Paris
Your fly girl / guy name is J Har
Your detective name is Poodle Abington
Your barfly name is Cherries Lemon Drop
Your soap opera name is Dawn Arnold
Your rock star name is Swedish Fish Red Volvo
Your Star Wars name is Jesjos Hargen
Your punk rock band name is The Content Mirror
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Saturday, September 16, 2006
I wonder how many people are roaming sans shelter in the Philadelphia area.
Friday, September 15, 2006
My prior experiences with fishing had been on private boats with friends and family. We braved some rough surf, but I never got sick. I had also gone on public four hour tours, which were thrilling. I have allowed one rough and rainy day to ruin my previous excitement for trolling wrecks and reefs.
In my defense, the eight hour trip felt like an eternity. During the choppy ride back to the dock, the clouds poured drops onto our heads that were much heavier than any shower I’ve ever enjoyed. The first mate was kind enough to dress me in his raincoat, which became covered in fish guts as the crew cleaned the catch, since the wind was whipping at my back.
I’d like to give it another go on a mild, sunny and clear day. I miss reeling in my line and finding a salty, flopping, tasty treasure on the other end.
Last Sunday, our family went to see the movie Invincible. The stadium seating theater was electric, since the audience was comprised of local Eagles fans. It made us eager for football season. My son wants to buy a new fog horn to blow outside after every Eagles touchdown.
I also threw a bridal shower luncheon for my sister at Scoogi's restaurant. It was lovely. She is getting married to a nice guy/golf pro next month at a local country club. She looks like a little doll in her simple and elegant wedding dress. I hope that their special day will be spectacular.
I tend to choose wintergreen or cinnamon gum. My son likes spearmint and my daughter prefers peppermint.
What’s your favorite mint flavor?
I didn’t make out with my date during the 1950’s period film, but I slipped my hand into the waist of his pants and under his boxer briefs. Sneaky touching is hot, even when your spouse is making grunting noises like a hog at you for stealing two sips from his bucket of soda.
2) Your Wildest Dreams – The Moody Blues
3) Sweetest Sin – Jessica Simpson
4) In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel
5) Closer – Nine Inch Nails
6) Wicked Game – Chris Isaak
7) This is Hardcore – Pulp
8) I Want You To Know – Depeche Mode
9) Turn Me On –Norah Jones
10) I Touch Myself – The Divinyls
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Friday, September 01, 2006
2) They Can't Take That Away From Me – Frank Sinatra
3) Fly Me To The Moon – Frank Sinatra
4) Let's Get It On – Marvin Gaye
5) Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe – Barry White
6) My Cherie Amour – Stevie Wonder
7) La Javanaise – Madeline Peyroux
8) Sympathique – Pink Martini
9) The Prettiest Thing – Norah Jones
10) Love Me Some You – Harry Connick Jr.