Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Handwritten Hope

Dear Jess,

As you know, I am not the best at showing my feelings. I am sorry for everything that I have done in the past. You saved me from myself, and the thanks I showed you was making your life a total nightmare. In the past, I have always tried to buy my way out with cheap gifts. What I mean by that is no piece of jewelry could ever live up to your beauty.

I am not a very good husband at all. Always looking out for #1 has been my motto. When I see how much another man loved you, instead of saying, of course, look at you, sexy, smart and talented, I yell and push you down. For this, I am sorry.

Please find it in your heart to forgive me—I do not need to forgive you. It is all my fault. I would love to take a step back, take a deep breath and start over. I know you are scared. If we can’t, I would like you to call *** and get together with him. The emails in your blog are wonderful. He loves you.

I know I don’t deserve someone as good as you in my life. Here is one single rose for a fresh start. Hopefully.

Love,

****

6 comments:

jbgrinch said...

Ive been thinking about what you said about mesured comments and I would say he should read more of your blog and how much your friends care and worrie about you. Maybe it will give him the strength to be willing to learn from us. I dont know him but I know that you still seem to love him and have his kids that is good enought reason for me to give him a chance
love and prayers to both of you!
jeremy

Anonymous said...

He's a liar. It's part of the pattern. Please be careful. It's a manipulation, no matter how much you'd like it to be true...it won't.

mcs said...

I await your email. You say you want to have lunch and yet nothing happens. Email me.

PS-Remember that song by Pat Benatar? You should sing this chorus to your husband.

"It's a Little Too Little
It's a Little Too Late
I'm a Little Too Hurt
And there's nothin' left that I've gotta say
You can cry to me baby
But there's only so much I can take
Ah, it's a Little Too Little
It's a Little Too Late!"

Heh-heh.

Bud said...

I've missed a lot of this. I continue to be extremely worried about you.I think you already know how I feel about this situation. If I believed in prayer, I'd be praying for you. Please know that I'm hoping you'll be okay.

Anonymous said...

I don't buy that malarky. If you do, well then buyer beware.

Melissa said...

Jess,

I tend to be a pessimistic sort (at least in this regard) and I'm skeptical that people change. At least, I don't think they change the stuff that really matters.

I tend to agree with anonymous here. You've said so much about him that was incredibly unflattering, I can't imagine how much he could change to make it all better. Be smart about this.