Wednesday, February 15, 2006

An Apprehensive Romance

On February 13th, my handsome husband came home and handed me a small, red box. I opened it and found a platinum wedding band encircled with diamonds. He got down on one knee and said, “I want to marry you again, in one year. This time we’re grown ups—and I’m trying to be normal”, as he winked.

He also suggested that we have wedding bands tattooed on our ring fingers and told me that he wants to have my lips and name tattooed on his pelvis. He has a few cool tats, but I don’t have any ink on my skin. I like my skin sans permanent stains.

He requested that the next 364 days be an experiment. If we can manage to get along and make each other happy, we will have an intimate second wedding. If things don’t go well, we will try to separate cordially.

Valentine’s Day was emotional. I opened chocolate truffles and a necklace with pink hearts first thing in the morning. When he came home from work he handed me a card which read…

Sexy smile, sexy talk, sexy kisses, sexy walk, sexy brain, sexy heart, sexy every little part, sexy dreams, sexy life, sexy woman, sexy wife. Dear Jess, Sexy is the perfect word to describe you. I love you will all of my heart. I know that the past has been bad. I hope the future can be bright. Please forgive me for all and things will only change for the best.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

I love you,

The Red Monster

After we exchanged cards and gifts, he began to undress to get into the shower. I surprised him by stripping first and stepping into the tub. I turned on the shower head and stood smiling under the warm water as he washed all of my parts. We made love on a damp towel before we left the house for our dinner date.

We shared juicy, buttery lobster tails and steamers, as we stared questioningly into each other's face. We’re both so full of fear of being hurt that it takes some of the joy out of decadent food and wine.

Our marriage is laced with pleasure and trepidation.

If we can’t shake this uneasy feeling I’m not sure we can make it. However, our love and lust for each other keeps us clinging onto hope and flesh.


Bud said...

I just can't comment on this situation anymore, Jess. I just want you to be happy AND safe.

SCH said...

I sure hope that everything works out and you are both safe and happy!

mcs said...

Misery loves company.

I give up.

Please don't end up as another domestic violence victim.\

- A wise old friend

jbgrinch said...

hey there, Im still here and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Jessica said...


It hurts that you would say "misery loves company". I'm far from a miserable person.

I wish you happiness.