Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Biscuits

7:15 am-

As my son walked out of the bathroom this morning wrapped in blue terrycloth, I was inspired to sing him a little song to a Monkey’s tune…

Here comes my son
He’s my number one
I’m gonna pinch his buns

He ignored me, so I went into the kitchen to make some coffee with cinnamon. I decided to make him a microwavable sausage, egg and cheese biscuit for breakfast, since he is injured and therefore incapable of navigating himself to the refrigerator. He sprained his ankle running to a rock concert in Philadelphia on Saturday night. He explained that he and his buddies arrived a little late, so they sprinted from the train station. They didn’t want to miss the opening band. However, his foot hit a pothole and he did a Superman-- and his chest skidded across the pavement. He still managed a three hour concert in which he moshed with the crowd. Teenage determination is amazing.

On Sunday morning, he woke up with a golf ball sized left ankle. My husband took him to get x-rays, which relieved us from the idea of a break. But now I’m stuck driving the superklutz three blocks to school and back every day for at least a month—and he is missing out on playing volleyball with his dad, swimming in gym class and football with his boys. I explained all of that so I could tell you my lame joke…

I handed him his plate and explained that if he carried it to the table he’d be limpin’ with the Bizkit.

He looked at me with glazed up-til-2:00-am-to-watch-the-Eagles-game eyes. The birds disappointed Philly fans with a 21-20 loss after dominating most of the game. My husband watched them lose from club box seats. I was snoring with my daughter by half-time.



6 comments:

Bud said...

What can I say, THAT was only a matter of time. They'll find this one too. What about all that stuff about your husband and various affairs? They mention that? You do live dangerously and my heart skips a beat every time you have to change your URL.

SCH said...

Is there any danger that your husband may find out about it?

Thank You for letting me know about your new blog btw!!

Joe Tornatore said...

it took me a bit to find you.
sorry about the old blog but is was only a matter of time. Google is the unrecognized God of tomorrow.

txyankee said...

Being a major Limp Bizkit fan, and having a HUGE crush on Fred Durst, I found that joke fucking hilarious and spit my coffee all over the keyboard1

JacUnivac said...

OK, your fans don't just do this for anybody but here is a tribute to your "biscuits" and being back. It can be viewed here:

http://artpad.art.com/?iq0m901kzy28

Set the slider to fast and hopefully enjoy!

Med älska

Jack

PS - Your much prettier but after all painting with a mouse ain't easy.

Jessica said...

Bud, I don't know if they actually read any of it. The way it looked to me on statcounter, they just went through and looked at pics. I don't plan on mentioning my hometown again, cause that is how they found me. I wrote a post with it in the title. They were looking up their football coach.

SCH, I guess there is a bit of a chance.

Joe, I would have let you know where I was if I had you on my link list. I noticed that you're not a link trader.

TX, Thank you for laughing!

Jac, cute painting. You're a real artist. For some reason that photo makes my eyes look dark.