Ten of my Guilty Pleasures

1) Romance novels
2) Manicures and pedicures even if I just had one a week ago
3) Hair Dye (I’ve tried virtually every shade.)
4) Lots of lingerie, especially pretty bras and panties
5) Watching E and listening to bitches bust on bad ensembles (Actually, I wish they would shut up, so I could gaze at gorgeous gowns and jewels on stars from shows I’ve never seen.), anything on the Food Network or America’s Funniest Home Videos
6) Sleeping with a stuffed elephant and my silky
7) Viewing porn and envying fake breasted sluts like Pam Anderson for reasons other than coveting their unmoving, gigantic implants and long acrylic nails.
8) Silky, sweet and smooth Häagen-Dazs chocolate chocolate chip or coffee ice cream, steak nachos with lots of guacamole, cheese, sour cream and hot salsa--and warm, frosted apple pie. Oh, and cinnamon Churros!
9) Wishing to be the intelligent, blue-eyed version of Jessica Simpson. Her voice and appearance are breathtaking.
10) Criticizing women (in my head) who are skanky rather than sexy. I think that tongue, belly button, nose, eyebrow or more than two ear piercings are trashy looking. I think that multiple tattoos (most tattoos) on women are déclassé. Tacky is the word that comes to mind for women who try so hard to be hot that they wind up looking like an overly decorated Christmas tree rather than naturally beautiful.